"Throw away the Bowlines"

I was going to call this post "Taking a Leap of Faith". I don't know what that exactly means. I interpret is as doing something risky with the belief that there maybe be a safety net to catch you. Anyway, it just sounded right at the interview! But deeper thought made me see the negative connotation to it.
Being an extensive user of Facebook, I remembered one of my posts from 2015. I think it conveys positivism without diminishing the adventure!

When the chance to work in Sweden for a year came up, I remembered this post. I turned 50 this past November and do not want to look back when I am 70 and regret not doing it. The offer comes with its risk. I do not have confirmation that i will get a role back in the US organization when I return after a year. Hence, the first title, "taking a leap of faith".

I am going in with my eyes wide open and so far have not let doubts come up. There are complications other than not having an assured job at the end of the year. My husband will join me off and on and I will be away from the US, except for a few visits, so will miss seeing my daughter on our monthly visits to Austin.

I have very strong role models here, whose steps I am following. First my mother, who lived with her two teenage girls in the late 80s by herself when my father worked in Yemen. Then my dear sister who did something similar with an assignment in London last year. And finally my sister and friends who sent their only girls, 2 oceans away to get a great education.

I am yet to apply for my visa, but have started this blog before the move. Am yet to meet the tax consultant for the pre move tax meeting and the packers for planning the move of personal effects. In my mind I have place holders for what the next few months will look like. Reality may just run roughshod over them.

I will not be in this frame of mind always. The long winter will perhaps get to me. Or missing my old life(I know I will get back to it in a year)- cooking in my kitchen, going into a food coma with dear friends, working in my garden at the community gardens, my book club, driving to Austin once a month to meet with Ananya, walking on the trails of Coppell or listening to NPR podcasts on my way to Denton will get to me.

I will miss my daughter the most. (no pressure Ananya). She has been away at college since August last year. I haven't cried a single day since she left. She is happy and is doing well. But when I meet her or when she comes home, I realize what I miss. The clutter she creates, the music she plays, the storm she cooks up in the kitchen and the way she cuddles, sitting on a chair next to the couch as we watch Netflix. Its then that I realize just how bereft my life is without her.

I will need an outlet to stay positive, hence this blog and just like it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a circle of supportive friends for you to be brave.

So here is looking forward to my life in the next 12 months, where Sweden will play a major role! Please feel free to comment and ask questions!! You all know how much I love to talk.